I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
