So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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