weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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