overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
