At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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