I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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