i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
