Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
