I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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