Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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