It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
