Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
