They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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