Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
