..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
operation harelip BJ is a go
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
