question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
