it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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