I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize