You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
