As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize