I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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