Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
