im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
