My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
