Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize