Only a mothe r could love this liver
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
