I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He did a backflip because drugs
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
