Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
