So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
