I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
