I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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