I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
