There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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