sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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