we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
