He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My vagina just recognized that song.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
