State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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