tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Randomize
