I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
