you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
