im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
