He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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