At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
