Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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