Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
