I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
