At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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