As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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