I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
