idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
