Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
