hotel room ftw
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
