Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
