I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
