it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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