Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize