Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
