Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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