And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
