I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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