You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
