This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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